sadness & loss

 -Carol Lynn Pearson, "The Lord is my Shepherd"

I want this space to always be cheerful and optimistic, playful and fun – but right now, my heart is heavy and it doesn’t seem right to post about food, fashion, or recent festivities. Its been a trying week – seemingly one tragedy after another – and tonight I am so sad for Nation, a hometown friend to all, who has lost his lovely wife in such a devastating event. Last night I opened a book that Sally passed down to me – an inspirational interpretation of Psalms 23 that is focused on couples. The twenty third Psalm is truly a soul soother. Words that are full of peace and inspiration, and right now, that’s good to read.  But in light of this situation, I have to wonder, as I’m sure Nation must, is there truly purpose to this path?

I ache for Nation, and the thought of him going through this painful experience. Losing not only a soul mate, but also a best friend – someone that he trusted and supported, and who has betrayed him in the most unfathomable way. I pray for Nation, that at some point, somehow, he can find it in his heart of gold to forgive. And that green pastures and still waters lie in his not so distant future. And I’m cheering for Nation, as he picks up the remaining pieces of the life that he once knew, and puts them back together. I know he will, it’s just so hard to imagine how in this moment. But it’s times of deep, dire need, like this one, when we must look to God, and trust that there is a purpose to this path, and that He can restore our souls and nourish our spirits. My heart goes out to you, Nation. You are strong, inspiring, and loved. 

Unprocessed Uncensored

When Katie pitched the idea of 21 days of clean eating, I shut it down with an iron clad NO. A "never, not happening, quit talking about it" sort of no. Need I reemphasize that I live in Lenoir, and diets that involve the words organic or quinoa can stay in crunchy Carrboro? My reality check came in the form of an outing to buy bathing suits. Tip for anyone who wants to lose weight: Try on bathing suits after dinner with no tan. If that's not motivation for starvation, I suggest you accept defeat and embrace a heavy waist line. But that's another subject.

Long story short, today marks day seven of clean eating. Ten pounds of left over baby weight (how long can one milk that excuse?), a drawer full of uncomfortably 'skinny' jeans, and no back up plan has led me to this stage of acceptance. For any of you 12 step followers- I'm Sally, and I'm a food addict. I admit that I am powerless over my love for all things caloric, and my life (at least my love for food) has become unmanageable.

In all seriousness, it hasn't been as terrible as I imagined. Even better, I'm down four pounds after one week! I may even get crazy and confess that my limited caffeine (no Sundrop) hasn't left me sleeping on my desk. Apparently it's true that an unprocessed diet provides natural energy! The bad news is that learning to follow an unprocessed food diet requires preplanning and preparation. Luckily, my sister is ridiculously industrious and created a handy menu and shopping list tailored to our specific food loves. Katie's sweet shopping list and meal plan will be shared if/when we wrap up our 21 days with success (and you will have to take our word on this figurative success. The obligatory tummy selfies were omitted in an attempt to maintain my dignity).

Here is some photographic evidence of my sister's hippie eating imposition:

Right top: Med Chicken and Artichoke Salad adapted from Can You Stay for Dinner
Right Bottom: Quinoa Veggie Burgers
Left Bottom: Tilapia tacos on home made corn tortillas from Eating Real Food

In other news, it's no longer a mystery why fresh squeezed orange juice is so pricey. 

Despite a brief relapse at an engagement party over the weekend and the symptoms of withdrawal that I experience when I look at the place on my desk that previously housed a bowl of chocolate, I would count week one as a success. Here's to healthy lifestyle changes (at least for the next 14 days).

Engagement pictures

I was aiming for wedding Wednesdays...but its evolving into wedding late Thursday nights because I don't work on Friday. We've also got some good updates coming on our week of healthy living, so if you've missed hearing from Sally, be patient! 

For now, I'm sharing some pictures and some picture takin' tips. Engagement pictures weren't something I ever really cared about having. We aren't sending a save-the-date, and I can't figure out what people do with all these pictures of themselves anyway, so we just never really felt the need to make those happen...Until I realized the only good quality pictures that Rob and I have together are in bathing suits and with wet-ish hair, and a wedding website is pretty dull without pictures. So, while we were at the beach over Easter we got our shiz together enough to shower before dark and get my dad to follow us around with his camera for a bit. Turns out, I'm very glad we did this because I discovered some things that will be handy to know before we're getting photographed on our wedding day, when we only have one chance to get it right. 

Along with a whole bunch of pictures (you've been warned), here are some things I'd do differently, and that I would recommend for anyone with an engagement session on the agenda:

Do some research before: Look at others' engagement pics and make note of hand positions, facial expressions, angles, and poses that you like. I, unfortunately, did not do this at all. And Rob and I were awkwardly trying to make our hands and faces look normal in every picture. Thankfully my mom came along to redirect some of our ridiculous attempts.

we're not this awkward in real life

looking off into?!?

this looks...cozy

Practice your smile and serious face: not just in a mirror. Try having someone take a picture of you, as silly as that sounds. I can do a serious face in the mirror (according to anyone who has ever watched me walk by one, I do it every time I look at myself). But without the reflection there to cue a lip adjustment, I just looked like I was in pain or about to be sick whenever I attempted a poker-face pic. I'll be practicing before our wedding, for sure.

happy? or about to throw up?

Dress for the weather: Obviously you want to look cute, but I found that comfort is key when you also want to look lovely and in love. It was windy and probably in the high 40s/low 50s, so I brought a blazer down to the beach that I didn't intend to wear in the pictures. I forgot to take it off at the beginning and put it back on when we thought we were done but then ended up taking more, and those pictures where I wasn't so cold turned out a lot better.

shivering is not flattering

And along those same lines...
Have an outfit for fun pictures: A dress is great when you're just standing there, but it really limits what you can do. I'll spare you the image of my exposed backside that was captured when I had the awesome idea that Rob should spin me around. People standing around or passing by were not so lucky...when I climbed on railings, when Rob picked me up, and when I sat down they all got quite a view. In hindsight, I'd wear a dress with a few more inches or just play it safe with some pants.

I'm sure those sipping wine on the porch behind me enjoyed this pose

Think about the time & light: We were shooting for sunset, but as we packed up to leave the sun was the most brilliant orange color. At this point, we were cold and wind blown so we didn't capitalize on the moment, but better planning may have afforded us this opportunity. I've also heard sunrise is a great time to capture good pictures with artistic lighting -- that most likely won't be happening around here.

Don't kiss so much: Anytime that we weren't sure what to do, we just stuck our lips together. This resulted in about 50 kissing pictures. What in the heck do I do with those?! One or two is sweet, but more than that is just excessive.

You're the only one who's scrutinizing these: So a leg dimple or a second chin sneaks in a couple of pictures. I found that in my most natural poses, i.e. laughing, things like that usually happened. Chances are, no one else will really notice it/care, so if the picture is otherwise a good one, let it be.

Special thanks to my dad for taking these, he's a man of many trades :)

forming healthy habits

Crazy things are happening over here. We're switching up our eating and exercise habits a bit for the next 3 weeks in an effort to kickstart a healthier lifestyle. According to these health behavior researchers, the theory that habits are formed in 21 days originated with Dr. Maxwell Maltz, a plastic surgeon who also had an interest in psychology.

He said, ‘It usually requires a minimum of about 21 days to effect any perceptible change in a mental image. Following plastic surgery it takes about 21 days for the average patient to get used to his new face. When an arm or leg is amputated the “phantom limb” persists for about 21 days. People must live in a new house for about three weeks before it begins to “seem like home”. These, and many other commonly observed phenomena tend to show that it requires a minimum of about 21 days for an old mental image to dissolve and a new one to jell.’ (from Psycho-cybernetics by Maltz) 

The relevance of this figure in regards to building and breaking typical habits hasn't been proven, but we thought 21 days still seemed like a good length of time to implement some changes. Long enough to see results and short enough to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's way more realistic to say i'm going 3 weeks without candy than to say I'm never eating it again.  

We're not being ridiculously strict about things, but we are making a joint effort to eliminate cut down on processed foods, eat a more balanced diet, and exercise with a purpose. We're setting goals and documenting progress, trying to drink more water and get more sleep, and hoping to gain an even bigger appreciation for food and how it impacts the way that we feel. 

After I pitched this idea to Sal, she asked me if Sundrop was processed, so we'll see how this goes :) 

Happy Monday,

preparing the flower girl

I just got an email from The Knot telling me I’ve got 4 months to go. As if I wasn’t aware…they just reminded me that things should start getting crazy around here. Transportation, invitations, alterations…and all of those other little details that aren’t going to do themselves should be up at the top of my to-do list.  While I’m not exactly on the ball with all of those things, there is one area that The Knot forgot, and I’m all over it: that’s flower girl preparation. Whether my sassy niece is going to walk herself down the aisle tossing petals or refuse to set foot on that red carpet is likely to depend on her mood, but I’m doing everything in my power to increase the chances of it happening.  Leighton is going to be a flower girl in three weddings this year, so we’ll get plenty of opportunities to see how this turns out!

Here’s what I did:

1. Make wedding paper dolls. Every bride-to-be has wedding magazines lying around. This simple project (if you can even call it a project) required about 5 minutes, 3 wedding mags, some scissors, glue, and card stock. The only hard part was finding a groom in the magazines, but we made due with one who’s on the shorter side. With a little input from the flower girl herself, I flipped through the pages and pulled out a bride, a flower girl, a couple bridesmaids, and a groom. I glued the pictures down on cardstock to make them sturdy then trimmed them down. And just like that, you’ve got wedding paper dolls.

 

2. Create a personalized book. As a pediatric occupational therapist, I’ve made social stories for all sorts of different scenarios. I can whip up a corny little tale about anything from using the potty to getting a haircut. This allows the kids to read or hear about themselves performing various tasks, and often helps build routines and assist the child in better understanding the process of an activity. At work, I encourage parents to make social stories too, and stress that anyone can do it – they can be handwritten and illustrated with stick people!

I decided to make one for Leighton after ordering the Pinkalicious flower girl book from Amazon. It’s cute, but it just wasn’t getting the point across as well as something that’s personalized for her. It also didn’t address the things that could be scary for a 2 year old – like seeing a crowd of people and being expected to walk through them. I drew the pictures with colored pencils, scanned them in then put it together with Microsoft Word. I tied this one together with twine, but any ribbon, yarn or string would work just fine. I uploaded the template with Leighton’s story and also a blank one for any engaged ladies out there who have a timid flower girl and want to make her a helpful little book. 

Flower Girl Book

Blank Flower Girl Book